Solo Travelers Blues

You’ve been having a brilliant time, the adventure you’d longed for is unfolding like a dream.  So, how is this even possible? And why did no one warn you about the potential monkey-on-your-back called the solo travelers blues?

You’re a strong, independent person, right? Must be, after all, you did make that big call to do this traveling junket solo. Others were nice enough to tell you they thought you were crazy whilst admiring your craziness at the same time.  But now you’re beginning to question if maybe they weren’t right. Just maybe you are a few sandwiches short of that picnic.

Well, the good news is there’s nothing wrong with you as a person, not psychologically anyways.  It’s a perfectly common phenomenon within the solo travelers community. In fact, if you didn’t feel at least some bouts of loneliness then maybe you’re doing it wrong?

So, we’ve established it does exist and we’ve ascertained it’s not deadly. But hey, no one invited that monkey on your back and I’m picking that you’d quite like him gone?  Read on for some pearls of wisdom:

Let Technology Be Your Best Friend

ALWAYS travel with some kind of modern device; smartphone, tablet or laptop. They don’t have to take up a lot of space in your pack and they can be the lifeline back to your other world.

While-away that boring ferry or bus ride with a laughter filled Messenger chat with some of those people who secretly wish they had gone with you. It’s just like texting but it’s free.

Spend hours on Instagram sharing images of your adventure. And as an added bonus, get some reassurance that you are still loved by the people you’re missing when they like your posts.

Reach out on Facebook. You can show off your in-the-moment experiences or just watch other peoples’ timelines for proof that your other life has not gone and disappeared on you while you’ve been away.

When nothing else but seeing loved ones or hearing their voice will do; there are Skype, Whatsapp and Facebook also has a voice call or video component.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please don’t forget to be in-the-moment and appreciate the surrounding you are in first! That is the reason you left the other world behind after all.  You don’t want to come to the end of your adventure and realise that the only things you remember about it are that your cousin Fred had a baby boy and that Mohammad Ali had passed away.

Strike Up a Conversation

With anyone, anytime and anywhere. Actually, let  me revise that statement.  Down a dark alley in the early hours of a morning in Johannesburg is probably not the most opportune time to try and curb your loneliness.  But, that aside, it really is a lot easier to begin a conversation when you’re traveling.

The locals wherever you find yourself are generally keen to have a chat. They tend to be curious to learn where you come from and what your story is.  Think of it as adding a bit of a difference to their same old, same old day. Even when you don’t share the same language they may enjoy getting to practice their English. And at the very least you might get to share a laugh as you both fumble for the right words.

You may even find “foreign locals” otherwise know as expats (read: expatriate, foreigner, displaced person)  who like you, are desperate to have a conversation. They love to have that chat with someone who hasn’t already heard their stories a million times.  It can be a novelty for them to speak in their own language and share some mirth with someone that will get it, and laugh as hard as they do.

And, if your attempt at striking up a conversation fails, who cares? Nobody knows you and you’ll probably never see that person again.

Be At One With Nature

I’m not necessarily talking about going out and hugging a tree. But there are a whole lot of other beings you might enjoy communing with enough that you forget you’re lonely.  Yes, agreed, even the garden variety cats and dogs wont provide you with a two-way verbal conversation. But they are a perfect example of a species that can be found everywhere and will normally love you unconditionally for just giving them some attention.  You could also go horse riding or visit an animal rescue organisation or a zoo.  

This may have been written a little tongue-in-cheek but in all honesty, it really does work for me. Being a dog lover, I love it when a friendly one approaches me, sniffs my hand and rubs against my legs. It’s a chance to provide a little bit of attention and love and receive some back in return.  There’s a lot to be said for joining in with the birds singing in the trees, metamorphically or not.

Look For That Silver Lining

There’s no wifi, your phone’s fallen in the sink and there’s nobody in the bar to begin a conversation with. It could just be a matter of accepting things as they are, for the moment. Because there is one thing that is the surest thing of all and that is, that things will change.  You’re going to move on, or new, fun people are going to arrive where you are right now.  Try and make the most of this time alone, remind yourself of how much you enjoy being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it.  Spend the whole day naked in your room or turn up your music and sing along, loud!  Or try this; imagine that you are now stuck with the one person in the world that makes your skin crawl, that one person you would do anything to get away from.  Now, come back to where you are now, great isn’t it?